Thursday, September 30, 2010

I-slow Mow

May mga taong sadyang ang bagal kung kumilos.

...ang bagal kumuha ng barya
...ang bagal mag-sukli
...ang bagal mag drive
...ang bagal mag parking
...ang bagal tumanggap ng bayad

May mga tao rin namang gusto lang ng mabagal.

...mabagal na driver ng jeep
...mabagal na usad ng trapiko dahil nga mabagal ang mga driver
...mabagal na trapik-eyd na parang minorette kung makatayo sa gitna ng kalsada
...mabagal na konduktor na napaka tange kung maka kolekta ng pamasahe
...mabagal na pasahero na isang oras kung makababa sa sasakyan mabagal na pasaherong isang araw maka-upo sa nais upuan

May mga tao rin namang ewan ko lang kung kailan matutong magmadali. Kasi nga naman...

...ang bagal kung makagising
...ang bagal maligo
...ang bagal magbihis
...ang bagal mamalantsa
...ang bagal kumain
...ang bagal mag-toothbrush
...ang bagal mag-retouch sa salamin
...ang bagal maka suot ng sapatos
...ang bagal bigyan ng baon

Pero gaano man kabagal ng buhay na ito, mayroon pa ring napakabilis.

...ang V-Hire na parang hindi takot sa disgrasya
...ang Chemistry teacher na parang puwet ng manok kung maka salita
...ang Filipino teacher na kung magbigay ng eksam ay parang genius lahat ng estudyante
...ang paglakad ni _______ na parang kidlat lang naman. Hindi ko na tuloy nasulyapan. :'( ang panahon... 

...parang kailan lang nang ako ay tumatakbo papunta sa P.E. class ko;
at bukas, ganon na naman ang mangyayari

...parang kailan lang ng nagkaroon pa kami ng pictorial sa office;
at ngayon, nangangamote na ang pub dahil wala ng ka narsihang mangyayari

...parang kailan lang ng ako ay mag-aral para finals; at ngayon, finals na naman

...kaya nga naman, Make every moment worthwhile; every minute memorable; every second a blessing...

Sabi nga ni Stuart Little, "In every thick cloud is a silver lining. You just need to look for it and be patient."


We plan things before they happen because we think that is the best way for us to arrange future activities and tasks. What we do not know is that God has better plans for us -- plans that would somehow be surprising but of course, always worthwhile.

My EdTech activity was very much efforted but sad to know, I only got a small grade. I do not know what our teacher's standard was when she gave that kind of points to me but she just did it and I cannot dictate her for whatever decision she will make. I thought my misery would continue until the afternoon. Before I left for school, my father reprimanded me -- his usual morning routine -- for being late again. That happens almost everyday and I have been used to it though I am also trying to move a little faster than a snail.

That day, honestly, wasn't as good as it seems. The sky was dark, the clouds were thick enough to pour it's anger on me, and the school environment wasn't as inviting as other days. I haven't mastered my speech yet to be delivered that afternoon. I haven't made my assignment in Filipino and I do not know when I can have the time to make it. I haven't talked to my friend about her mother -- and I am sure she will be grief-stricken when she'll hear the news. I do not know what to do. And worst, I do not have plans in mind.

Come what may, I concluded. With crossed fingers, I decided to start moving and see to it that one event won't complicate another.

There I finally was, seated in front of about thirty people, clad in a black dress. I was trying to recall my piece while my seatmate tried to calm himself. We tried to talk to each other to lessen the uneasiness but the throb was still there.

I don't have to say what happened between those five minutes of forceful speech. I don't have to describe the blank emotions of the audience who tried to absorb every word I said. I don't have to tell you that I forgot my lines thrice and that I added my own lines after going blank with the second-to-the last paragraph of my speech. I don't have to remember it all. What I am thankful for is that our teacher was convinced with my projection and gave me a satisfactory grade.

More and more unexpected things have to come and I have to cross my fingers for more serendipitous discoveries.

Monday, September 27, 2010

More Elementary Bluffs (Taglish Version)

On the second day of my observation in South City Elementary School, a large slogan welcomed me and my colleague: Make every child a reader; and every reader a leader. For the second time,  I have been reminded of my elementary days again. I can relate some, especially those amusing ones.

It was recess time and was the best chance for the pupils to get out of their boring lives inside the classroom. It was their time to unleash the reserved hyperactiveness which has been trying to get out. Nag bell na si Tata! It's recess time.

Shoe coats. The main purpose of requiring pupils to wear shoe coats inside the classroom is to maintain the cleanliness of the floor. But would those shoe coats serve its purpose if they are still worn outside the classroom? Dahil lamang pagod na ang mga bata sa pag-remove ng kanilang shoe coat for recess, tatakbo na lang sila papuntang canteen ng naka-shoe coat. Oh diba asteeg! Yung iba, butas na, sinusuot pa. Props lang?!

Snack Attack. Sino ba naman ang makakalimot sa unending juice-in-plastics, bread-in-plastics, at spaghetti-in-plastics served sa mga canteens ng paaralan. May mga junkies na pinag-aawayan pa hanggang sa huling patak. Isa sa mga ayaw palampasin ng mga bata lalo na yung mga pinabayaan sa kusina ay ang spaghetti in a plastic. Here then are the four simple steps on how to eat spaghetti in a plastic:

  • Step one -- Buksan ang plastic gamit ang matitigas mong ngipin.
  • Step two -- Huwag gumamit ng kutsara o tinidor. Kainin mula sa plastic ang namumulang spag gaya ng paghigop ng ice water.
  • Step three -- Iluwa ang nakaing plastic. Hindi yan ma-da digest ng sikmura mo.
  • Step four -- Enjoy! 

Eaves dropping moments. Hindi naman yata kasalanan kung ibaling ko ang aking atensyon sa mga batang nakatayo sa labas ng kanilang classroom pagkatapos kong ma realize na boring palang mag-antay ng guro.

Scene 1 (grade 4 pupils sitting outside their classroom)
Boy 1: Maayo kaayo si Jam jam bay. Maayo kaayo brad. Tay ng iyang pinatiran. Maayo kaayo. (wisik wisik ang laway)
Boy 2: Grabeha kaayo bai. Kita gud ko ato. Tay lupig jud nuon iyang mga kontra. (astounded)
Boy 1: Maayo kaayo mu spike uy. Kita gud ko aning ni ulbo nang bola bai. Maayo jud.
Boy 3: (with sincerity) Naguba akong sapatos bai.

Scene 2
Teacher: Paminaw mo. Where is your test paper?
Pupil: Nawala ma'am.
Teacher: Okay. You pay for that. You are given free test papers then you will only lose it. Paminaw bah! Pangtadyakan tamu run.

Vocabulary. Sad to say though, even the teacher whom I thought was good enough in English communication cannot even pronounce well. These are some of the mispronounced words both from the teacher and the pupils. Ang tigas naman kasing mag-Ingles ng mga Pinoy! Kahit ako, ang hina...booo

1. causing -- pronounced "cowsing"
2. gymnasium -- pronounced "jeymnasium"
3. pronunciation -- pronounced "pronan-si-ey-sion"
4. correct -- pronounced "korik"
5. Aunt -- pronounced "Awnt"
6. Gaisano -- pronounced "Gaysano"
7. coach -- pronounced "cotch"
8. shows -- pronounced "shoes"

I am looking forward to more observations in the near episodes of our Field Study. As of the moment, I am busy enhancing my observational sheet so that our professor would be impressed by the out put that I am attempting to recreate. I will really miss those kids and the bullies and wits we all shared even for just two days. ♥

Monday, September 20, 2010

Elementary Bluffs

This is my second time to observe a classroom for our Field Study 2. I do not know if I am fortunate or unfortunate enough to be assigned in South City Elementary School but at least the principal there was hospitable to welcome us in.

I sat for two hours in a grade 5 classroom with almost 38 pupils and an English teacher who did not even care what kind of pronunciation her pupils will deliver. It was a little humorous to listen to their wrong dictions and pronunciations but the other side of me said that it should not be the proper way of dealing with little children. They should be taught of the right pronunciation and the correct construction of words at a young age for it will benefit them in the near future; well maybe unless the teacher herself does not know how to correct those mistakes.

Anyway, these are just three of the bluffs that I took down.

*Teacher: If it is a boy, you use the pronoun "he". If it is a girl, what do you use?
  Pupil: He...ay hish ma'am.

*theym -- a combination of the words they and them (oh diba unique?)

*Teacher: Di mo maulaw naa tay bisita? Gapakita ra gyud mu sa inyung pagka unsa?
  Pupils: Walay batasan.
  Teacher: Very good.

Nan! Asa ka mamulot ana?

A Very Worthless Creature

This is my 100th post! Yipee! But unfortunately, this will not be a jovial post.

Who would ever think that this will be a hell day? I did! I already knew, from yesterday, that this is my doomsday. I don't blame anyone for this failure for I created this myself. I am the failure. I am supposed to memorize those dance steps with mastery but nothing happened. I even got confused with the easiest -- line dance.

Today's our practicum and I never got excited. No matter how I prayed for guidance, everything that we practiced yesterday was already a blur. I never had a perfect performance, even once. Darn that P.E. Darn me! That mellow Korean music played inside the office triggered my tears to flow incessantly and I have to hide in the c.r. to dispose all those wastes.

I hate how dumb I am. I hate how ugly I am when I dance. I hate everything about me. I am a worthless mammal with nothing inside her but a backbone, and an ugly feature. Darn me!

I don't know how to get out of this failure but I think this is already part of me and I cannot remove it from my blood. No matter how others say that I am good at this and that, it won't change the fact that I am indeed a failure -- and will always be.  Darn me!

I just wish I could just afford to slit my wrist or hang myself, or shoot my head then I have done it already. I wish no one loves me so that I can end my life that easy. I wish committing suicide is not a sin. I wish God won't be very upset if I will stop breathing. I just wish! Then I could  have been gone for good now, away from this body and away from the world. I hate how I have to keep up with the standard of the world. But today, I have to say, I am worthless.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

That One fateful Night

I decided to attend the meeting and help the rest of the staffers in the load that they're bringing. They are my family, second, to be exact and I have to be there to show that I care and to show that I am also worried just as how worried they are.

We were hoping for our leader to come. I asked my father to pray that he will have a change of heart and show up in the forum after missing two consecutive meetings. But he did not. Oh that fateful night!

Right after the meeting, it began to drizzle. I do not know if my father has arrived from home because he did not give me replies to my text messages. I saw him outside, waiting, and told the whole story. His face frowned in disbelief and I began to understand he also cared for us. Oh that fateful night!

Before we could escape from the borders of the city, my father told me that we had a flat tire. Wow! This has happened for the second time but this time, we tread a muddy, rocky road with teardrops pouring on our heads rather than on an asphalted one. Oh that fateful night!

We both walked 200 meters from the area where we had the flat and fortunately found a man whom we can inquire. "Asa ng duol nga bulkitan diri kuya?" I bravely asked. "Didto day. (pointing to the place where we were from) Patugbong ra mu paingon sa Sta. Monica day." What else can we do but walk again. Tatay pushed the motorcycle and finally found the bulkitan. We waited for a few minutes before it was totally fixed. Oh that fateful night!

Thank God we arrived home safe and sound; although I was trying to hold back the drowsiness while traveling, I was still thankful that we never met an accident along the way. Oh that fateful night!

Front Seat

I woke up very late this morning. Who would ever think that a school girl like me who has a 7 a.m. class would wake up 5:30 in the morning and would still travel for an hour to school? I can't believe how I managed to iron my clothes, take a bath, and eat my breakfast for an hour. That's how snail-paced I am when at home. Tatay brought me to the highway and we both waited for a convenient ride. Three jeepneys have already passed and I was already doubtful if a Ceres bus will still pass on time. I told myself that if there will be no bus after a fourth jeep, then I have to hail a jeep rather than wait for that nowhere bus.

I might call this serendipity or perhaps the fruit of my patience. Indeed, a bus surfaced from afar and seeing its yellow color beam in the busy thoroughfare made me give a slight smile. I finally did not regret what I did, I told myself.

So there I was, seated on the front seat of the yellow bumble bee. We were able to overtake the three jeepneys that once passed by, filled with students and workers who all seemed to be ready for the day's strain. Little kids were walking on the roadside, either going to school or to a nearby store. People began to get out of their houses and looked very ready to face a new day. There were overconfident drivers who tried to overtake and there were also considerate ones who gave way to those who wanted to get to their destinations fast.

As expected, I was late for my P.E. class but was still able to cope with the dance steps. Front seat's super cool! Ceres rocks! ♥

Jive Your Life Away

We're almost over! Jive was taught to us this morning in our P.E. class and I can't imagine how others learned it that fast. Perhaps, I was just really dumb when it comes to psychomotor intelligence. Super dumb! I am still having major adjustments to my awkward movements and I do not know when I am going to get over this.Three more dances to go and we're done -- interpretative dance, modern dance, and cheer dancing.

But with the jive that we had this morning, I did not believe how I had a different impression on the dance. It was jolly and I totally enjoyed it (though I still had a hard time moving my feet). It was the only dance style that I perspired big time. With that one hour in the open court, I never noticed the rest of the pressure being laid down on me. I love jive :)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Random Thoughts Part 4

I have been away from the blogosphere for quite sometime and within those absences, I had lots of things to tell although it wouldn't be necessary to delve into the minutiae.

I am still working with my Ed Tech requirements.  I do not know if I am just lazy to think of new styles for my Ed Tech activities or I suppose I really ran out of ideas on how to make my instructional materials ungeneric and unique.Good thing there are great people who are willing to give a hand and although complains are always in the picture, they always do what I ask them to do. I learned to be indigenous and explored our stinky bins for possible materials that can be recycled. It cost me a lot, though -- my H, my time, my effort -- but I know it should be dealt that way for that is the only way and nothing else. This will be over soon and I know that when that time comes, I will be looking back at those strained nights with myself and that old, tickety clock.

A mound of problems. Are they really called problems or are they just challenges that call for the right attitude in order to be conquered victoriously? I don't know. But they sound pretty much the same. I believe this is all part of God's plan -- for me to be into predicaments like this, for me to realize that I am a grown up now and I have to deal with these all with strong conviction and faith, for me to understand that life isn't always about laughs and jokes but also about making tough decisions and waking up into the unending loom of life's chaotic web. Although not all of the load of problems are mine, I still consider them mine for they have been experienced by the people I care about. It just hurts me to know that I am trying to be understanding and very willing to help but in the process would discover that they aren't even exerting an effort to help themselves.

This has been the biggest problem I and the publication have encountered. Who would ever think that the office of the so-called vanguards of truth will be ransacked in the middle of "nobody knows when" and would be stolen with three valuables so important and costly that even all of our allowances put together cannot pay a single camera. The discovery was surprising since at first, we thought it was just borrowed by someone. But  when it did not resurface 24 hours later, we were already alarmed. Whoever got those cameras really knew what he was doing. He knew when to attack in silence and what to exactly get. He knew how to play the game that even the policemen weren't left a trace. I just do not know if he knew that there will be more than ten people that will be caught in this glitch after that unexpected phenomena. I do not know what his motive was. But for optimism's sake, at least no staffer was hurt during the robbery. The investigation is still ongoing and we are all hoping and praying that, even just with 60% faith left, those cameras will be returned and the culprit will be caught.

Personality check. A dumb little sheep will always fall off a cliff when his shepherd is not responsible enough to watch over him. As of the moment, we are all like dumb sheep seeking for the rightful shepherd to tell us to do this and not do that. In the middle of this quandary, I can't believe those whom I thought would be there for me [and us] would be those who will give up first and abandon me [us].

I think this calls for a personality check. Involving emotions in any decision is not a bad thing. In fact, both should go along together. But if you begin to let your emotions overrule your decisions and your intellect, that is an insult to the natural order of God's creation of the human anatomy. He placed the brain above the heart to remind its owner that he has to use his head in making relevant choices and let the heart discern which is right and which is wrong. I might be mistaken in this view [I accept corrections] but I think this is how both organs should be used.

There is therefore no reason for people to leave their friends hanging in dead air without any valid reason -- unless the real problem is themselves. A dumb little lamb, if not guided by his shepherd, would follow another one and would tend to forget that relationship they have started to establish. Super sayang!  

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

There's Something About Ed Tech

Being an Education student is not easy. This is what I realized after enduring almost a year and a half in the course that I have dreamed to take. I finally understood why my high school teachers before told me not to pursue with my plan. I admit I was a little bit upset with what they said but now, I totally get what they meant. 

Now, with this major subject we call Ed Tech rather than Ed 3, money will always be the issue, together with creativity, effort, resourcefulness, and endurance. I had plenty of sleepless nights just for the sake of finishing all the requirements given to us by our professor. So far, I have not missed one instructional material but I admit, not all of it wasn't satisfying. 

Although I have to say that I have uttered a lot of "hay! kapuya pud ni" in the entire duration of such task, I discovered something more than that. I realized Nanay is always very willing to do whatever she can to help me. She would stay awake until 1 in the morning just to assist me. Tatay, one time, slept at 2 in the morning just to finish my Pic-a-hole activity while I was already sound asleep. I also found out that my family has been bonded during this time. We would talk about this and that while cutting papers, pasting cartolinas, and doing other stuffs for my activity. Even if my H was all used up for this subject alone, I did not regret the fact that it has helped me lessen my moments of begging from my parents. 

There is really something about Ed Tech that brought my family together. There is really something about Ed Tech that made me realize some people are willing to sacrifice their time and effort together with me just to see me accomplish my thing. There is really something about Ed Tech that told me that family is the best help you can have when you think nobody is there to assist you. 

It makes me give a big smile everytime. 

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Stranger

My head was filled with so many things to do that I even forgot how time ran so fast. Though the monitor never became a blur, my head started to think foolishly of staying in my Facebook page and setting aside the real reason why I logged in the internet cafe. The links were tempting and as much as I wanted to stop, a certain nerve inside me kept on dictating to click this and that and to continue the amusement with my profile. How could Facebook make me an addict subscriber? Anyhow, I cannot blame the social network for my inanity. I believe it is still I who knows best how to control myself and when to say enough.

This post isn't about that anyway. It's about that one voice behind me that kept calling my name while I was busy looking at photos tagged by some online friends. I tried not to mind and indeed, moments later, it stopped. Perhaps, it was just someone I knew from grade school.

Before I could log out my account, the voice came back uttering the same name. I then decided to check who owned that voice. It wasn't angelic or something attractive, as you might think. It was just irritating. This time, it did not come from behind me but from a nearby chair almost beside mine. I quickly had a glance of those white teeth that paraded his gums and the dark complexion that covered his entirety. He looked familiar but I did not bother recall who he was. Then, he volunteered introducing his name.

"John Rowe? Remember? The boy who...blah! blah! blah!"

I crossed my brows but was careful enough not to make it too offending for him. Then, he continued muttering things just to make me remember.

"N'ya ka hinumdum naka?" he effortfully asked.

I only gave a 25% smile and turned my head. I really did not think he was talking to the right person. But I also think he was. I was definitely sure I was the only Rolyn in that cafe. After saying sorry for not considering the name into my memory, I continued with my work. He did not bother talk to me again after that.

As I was walking home that night with my sister beside me, I tried to till the deepest canteens of my brain. Then finally, I found it. The memory of that one person who made me a law breaker for one night, two years ago. My gosh! Nagbalik na nga! I don't want to relate it again.

Tooot! Signing off...

So he, indeed, wasn't a complete stranger at all.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Tatay na si Totoy

Thus was the title of the documentary Korina Sanchez featured last Sunday in her show "Rated K". I was surprised to see not a common teenager in the screen but a face of a talented child actor who, out of the blue, absconded the showbiz industry.

No wonder he was not seen in ABS-CBN teleseryes for quite a moment. As time went by, the name slowly faded from my mind. I never thought his stardom would only lead him to becoming a father at the age of 15 years old. Wow! Too aggressive.

He was released by the Star Magic a year ago because of the alleged unprofessionalism. What they did not know was that he has already crossed the border of being a teenager into being a responsible teenage papa.

Now, he said that he is once again ready to be back into the showbiz industry to prepare for the future of his two-year-old daughter.

Napakasayang lang at hindi n'ya na pursue ang magandang pangalan na binuo niya sa industriya. It was just like wasting his efforts in winning all the awards that he has now.

Random Thoughts Part 3

My mother thinks I have an ulcer. Is it true that when you puke yellow liquid early in the morning, you have an ulcer? Oh I hope not. I don't want to have scars in my stomach. Anyway, the churning feeling of my stomach just ceased the moment I released all the bad elements in my body but it was indeed a painful process. I can hardly breath and I don't have the idea on what to do -- to eat my breakfast, to rush to the comfort room, to close my eyes, or to read my speech piece just to have distractions. Nothing worked.

Fortunately, God heard my prayer and gave me a few hours to enjoy the morning without any stomach ache. I was able to bring my brother to school, which, for the first time, I have done. I was able to tarry in front of the television and watch Canada's Next Top Model.

 Late, late, late! Sick, sick, sick! I thought the pang in my stomach would end there but the moment I stepped into the school premises for my afternoon class,  I felt it again. This is not good. This isn't really good. I was able to miss my Chemistry class and the exam that the teacher gave. I was in deep resentment upon knowing that, for the first time again, I have missed my Chemistry class and at the same time skipped an

A White Throne Experience. This is my most hated part but I have no choice but to do it. For the third time to have another first time today, I was able to sit in a white throne and spent a quiet time with the unseen and the unknown for almost three minutes. Good thing the environment has been very friendly in the process and though I had reservations for disturbances, I was still thankful my apprehensions did not  come to life. (I'm sorry I have to write it metaphorically for I cannot afford telling anyone about the real thing)

A glimpse. I had a glimpse of my English first year crush in the cafeteria after not seeing him in the campus for a couple of months now. Anyway, he was just a crush and the admiration crashed a long time ago when I realized he was a fraternity member, a smoker, a drunkard, and a total playboy. Perhaps, those are what he likes and I cannot intervene with whatever addictions he have. I simply don't want to admire someone with a bad record.

It seems to be a normal day and I hope it would also end normally. :)
GOD bless!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Happy Birthday!

Today is my sister's birthday. She is already 13 years but she doesn't even act like one. Anyway, nobody is requiring her to act with her age. She is still free to do whatever childish things she wants like playing with her dolls and sewing dresses for them or sharing with my brother in his building blocks toys. However, she must put away her tantrums for it irritates me a lot. She usually screams at my brother when they are conversing. She screams when requesting for something. She screams when asking a question to anyone in the family. Who would not have tingling ears with that?

With all these, I am still thankful that I have her as a sweet sister for no one can replace her in my heart. (char!) I thank God for giving her to me since she is the only sister that kisses me when I arrive from school (unlike the older one who only snobs at me). Well, that's her. Though I cannot give her any gift on this wondrous day, she knows that I am grateful to have her as my sister. :)
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