Friday, November 11, 2011

A Disease? Or a Mindset?

No matter how hard I try to be early for my first subject in the morning, there are just elements around me that make me a slowpoke, a sloth, a snail, and you name it all.
It happens everytime, especially when I have 8:00 a.m. classes from Monday to Friday. This is a disease, I presume. My being a late comer has began when I was in grade school, and until now, now that I am in college, my presence inside the classroom minutes before the time still hangs at the mercy of my teacher. If she comes in before I do, then I am late. If she doesn't, then thank God. I ain't late yet.

I am always late, maybe from 5 to 15 minutes late, not only for school, but also for other appointments. I have been trying to find solutions for this problem of mine, this problem which has been bothering my friends in school and my colleagues in the office.

I tried to surf the net for possible answers and I got hooked with this site. click me. It has given me an idea that I have, perhaps, an OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which was defined by Steven Phillipson, Ph.D. as an anxiety disorder, which features recurrent obsessions that create threat or alarm. Some OCD behaviors include flushing the toilet with the use of one's foot, knocking on a wood three times to ward of a bad omen, or to make the sign of the cross everytime one passes by a Catholic Church.

There are three branches of OCD. First and the most common is when there is an undoing response which generally involves some overt behavior. It includes the thought of being contaminated to a certain bacteria, germs, or disease after touching an object or an area. In order for them to escape from these contaminations, they tend to do chronic handwashing and wiping their hands with sanitizers. Some might be good at hoarding, unnecessary stuffs included. These unnecessary stuffs like junk mails, lots of paper materials, or even collections of "memorable" items do pile up in one area of the house. Many would tend to keep them for possible future use. They can have a point of being futuristic, since I for one do collect and keep some stuffs, but I also learn to throw unnecessary ones. I ain't a "hoarder" then. ^_^

Second is purely obsessional. It involves a high sense of superstiousness of a person. For example, one believes that her lucky number is seven so she uses this number to associate success or luck. Others might be too dependent on the compatibility of their zodiac signs upon searching for a lifetime partner. Even an endless thought of one's first grade teacher who was forgotten and tried to recall would cause one to think of it for a long time just for the sake of knowing the name of that teacher. A tough problem solving, that is. 

The last branch is something quite difficult to treat, or let's say cannot be helped.  People in this category are so concerned not for themselves, but for the welfare of others.

There is another one which is called body dysmorphia, or the excessive focus of a person in a body part which he considers ugly, or grossly malformed. They stay in front of the mirror for quite some time, and they make sure that they look good with their appearance. Others are so concerned with their body parts which they think emit a stenchy odor (i.e., the genitalia, armpit, feet, and breath).

Upon stumbling on an article related to the aforementioned information, I was convinced that something is really wrong with me. But to go back to the issue of being late, I still think I have no disease. I have no OCD. This "unwanted" behavior of mine is a product of personal choice, and nothing more. I have to dub it as true, since the moment I focus on a thing that I have to achieve (like going to school early because of a strict teacher or be motivated because *I have a crush in one of my classes), I can absolutely achieve it.

Take for example yesterday. I had to hasten things up, from bathing to eating, so that I can catch an early bus to school. And yes, I was successful in going to school early. But what motivated me to do this post today is the ugly truth that I was once again late this morning. An inner gaud forced me to move slowly today, thinking that I can still make it early for today's class. But I obviously failed because of a miscalculated confidence.

Personal choice, this is therefore. And I am convinced. Nothing more. *wink



4 comments:

  1. O I am sufferring from OCD! HAHAHA!I knock on a wood to shoo away bad omens, I make the sign of the cross everytime I pass by a Catholic Church and lastly, I have an alcohol inside my bag to help me rid germs. Am I nuts?

    BTW, you have an award! It's the Sunshine Award 2011. Your 1 of the 10. hahaha

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  2. believe me!!! i can get rid of that snailgirl attitude. Didn't you know that I've been there.

    I just don't remember when exactly I feel that am over with being late. Maybe because I just need not to be one!! siguro nga, or else wala ng matitira sa sweldo ko, siguro ganon nga lang yun. You don't see any importance of going to school early, but when you are FORCED to do that, eventually ma-get over mo din yan...

    Pero you have to do it know, or else, you will be late for the rest of your life.

    >> may I suggest, set all your clocks including your wrist watch in advance mode.

    >> yan, dami ko tuloy reaction, ikaw kasi eh.. geee woott

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  3. @albert: yes. I have observed that from you. but i think there is nothing wrong with being clean. i just think you have to rid those other things that you have mentioned. ^_^

    @ate ferry: my father always says this line to me too. "Pero you have to do it know, or else, you will be late for the rest of your life."

    and i do set my time in advance mode. pero nako-conscious tuloy ako na it's advance so the more slowpoke i become. nakakainis. -_-

    but I will try. everyday, as long as God permits me to live yet another day, i will always try to be on time. :)

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  4. ---hahahah! believe me.. I have read that article about OCD and guess what, ako yong taong kailangan madiagnose and test for that.. y?/ dahil pag may mga disorder ka... it'll be known after the right age of 18..at ako ay 18/..

    Go to a specialized doctor then try to discover what disorder you portray...

    I knew those because when I reached 4th year.. I am assigned to that reports..
    I also suffer from Paranoid Personality Disorder... huhu... well gotta get consulted..\

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