I Have A New Crush But...

Yes. I have a new crush and he...

...is cute (of course).

...is left-handed.

...has a nice penmanship.

...is relatively tall.

...is genius-looking. (but he is really intelligent. Challenging kaya na course kinukuha nya.)

...is responsible.

...is a little bit snobbish.

...is the silent type.

...has a nice voice quality.

...and of course, a classmate of mine in one of my major subjects.

However, there is one thing I don't like about him.

Do you know what that is?

-- HIS GIRLFRIEND --

ayyy :(

Woe is Me

I don't have the writer's juice today to make a post but I will try my best to make one. Flashback...

--> Wednesday, 07:45 a.m. That is today.

The teacher entered into the room with a serious face and started to say...

Teacher: Where is Catanus?
Me: Ma'am.
Teacher: What is your position in TN?
Me: Associate Editor ma'am. (proudly said)
Teacher: You don't know how to edit your articles in TN.
Me: *silence and shocked (gumuho ang world)
Teacher: I don't like the article with me on it. Nawala ang essence ng article because there were some facts that were not included there. (abay malay ko ba)
Me: *silence
Teacher: Why did you publish it? I don't like it... (talk to my hand)
(after a series of redundant and painful words)
Teacher: That's why I don't like to read The NORSUnian because the issues there are all non-sense. You're an editor and you don't know how to edit that? It should be that the first paragraph is coherent to the second paragraph and the third paragraph is coherent to the second paragraph. (she's already giving a lecture. I know that ma'am. I am not that dumb.) Did you get me Catanus?
Me: Yes ma'am.
Teacher: And you did not place any title of me in the paper? You are under me and you don't know who I am? Ha? You don't know me? (do you know the word redundant, ma'am?)
Me: *agape
Teacher: I was also a writer myself and I know how to write things like that, better than on how you do it. I am a writer, a scientific writer. (so what if you are a scientific writer? I am also a writer.) You should place an erratum there. I really don't like the article.
Me: But I did not write the article ma'am.
Teacher: Kaya nga. You are an editor and you are supposed to check and verify the facts. Don't you know the functions of an editor? (kasalanan ko na nga...tsk) You should know better than that. You must put an erratum to that. Who is your editor-in-chief?
Me: Kenneth Pael ma'am.
Teacher: Ha?
Me: Kenneth Pael ma'am.
Teacher: Ah. So since you are the associate editor, you have to correct whatever wrongs he has. You really have to know better than that. I need the erratum to that. My goodness. You really should know about that.

Her words might not be that painful for me but the fact that she said it in front of our Biology class is another thing. I have shed enough of my tears in the c.r. of the TN office and had received consolation from a close friend. Now, I am okay.

P.S. --> Di lang pala ako lang ang napagalitan n'ya. She also spotted two members of the publication, one of whom is the writer of the article and the other one is her student in the major class. She told the writer of the article about his errors and even shared what she did to me during her Biology class with us. The other one, in the name of Albert, was also scolded, but the content of the reproach was similar to what she told me. She is so affected with the article. What is wrong with her? Trying to protect her reputation? Trying to become more famous than she's ought to be? I'd rather zip my mouth. Heartache is over.

Random Thoughts Part 13

Rainy Tuesday. Because of the rain, I had second thoughts of going to school today or not. Fortunately, my lazy bones did not dominate and I was still able to get out of the house even with the flooding field ahead of our house. With my uniform on, it is so difficult to tread in paths of mud and small paddies but knowing that it is not only me complaining about the discomfort of the weather and the attire, it's alright. Hopefully, this rain would cease this afternoon until tonight during our weekly meeting in the pub. I still have to go home and walking on those paddies and stepping on "land mines" would be disgustingly hilarious on my part. 

Case study. One question hit my friend and asked me, "What's with DOTA that makes most boys addicted to it?" I can't answer that, obviously. I am not a fan of DOTA, and never in whatsoever online games therewith. I proposed a solution to her confusion, though. "What if we will make a case study about that?"

Anyway, it seems like I know what the boys reasons are. I just can't explain it. It's like saying that you have an ultimate crush on someone but then here comes your very supportive friend who'll break the moment and ask, "What's in him that you're having a very crazy time thinking about him?" 

You can count on me. Just as I arrived at this sub-topic, Bruno Mars' song "Count On Me" played. His cool voice and the great message of the song made it my new "favorite song." Amazing song. Below is a part of the chorus:

You can count on me like 1,2,3

I'll be there

And I know when I needed I can count on you like 4,3,2

You'll be there

'Coz that's what friends are supposed to do.

Movie Marathon

Because of the postponed examination in Ecology and the pre-announcement of our History teacher saying that he will not meet us today, Monday, I decided not to sleep early last night and instead soaked myself in front of the television the whole night.

My family and I watched two great films -- Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue (though my father did not like it that much. He has been demanding to have the channel changed but he never succeeded.) and The Tooth Fairy (My sister and I finished it though my father said to have the t.v. turned off already.)

Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue

The Tooth Fairy

It was fun but I still have to have my sweet repose. I know I will have a good Monday ahead. :)

The Wednesday Man

 

Every Wednesday is a glittering day. Why? Because this is the only day wherein our History teacher meets us. Does it sound amazing or what? Aside from the fact that the subject (and the teacher) is boring, it has also similar and connected lessons to our Philippine Literature subject. 

For three weeks now, it has become his habit to skip Mondays and Fridays. Whatever his reasons are, it's not helping. It's just making the whole situation worse. And every time he meets us, he gives us either an oral or written examination. 

I wanted to report him to the administration for being an irresponsible teacher but I still don't have enough of the nerve to do so. I just hope that he will realize how behind we are in our lessons and that he will minimize his absenting if he does not want to be reprimanded by the higher-ups. 

Random Thoughts Part 12

Almost stranded. What I love about rainy nights is that it makes the humid environment cool, making me think with coolness, too. The unfortunate thing there, however, is when I am still in the pub and I have no umbrella with me. The worse thing is to discover that I have not brought an extra attire to replace my uniform. I really have to drench myself under the droplets of rain if I want to really go home. 

Earlier last evening, the rain stopped after seemingly draining all that was left of the heavens. I know it told me to go home already but I did not heed. I assured myself that it will not rain again. I decided to just finish the editorial that I was working on and then I'll go home with some of my colleagues. Unfortunately, the heavens did not cooperate with my plan. It once again rained, an hour later perhaps, and the whole campus was soaking wet. If I will force myself to brave the moisty environment, I would reach the bus terminal like a freezing little chick. I had to wait for some time before going out. But my patience has worn out and I really have to go if I still wish to catch the last trip home. Though it did not cease, I was still thankful I did not reach the terminal soaking wet. 

Oh how I love the rain!

A tiring trip. I was amicably hungry, drained, and all. I wanted to sleep in the bus but I also had to endure the hardships of standing with the crowd because there are no more seats available. The ache on my feet because of the high-heeled shoes traveled to my entire system. I wanted to pass out. Good thing two passengers embarked the bus and gave way to two of the passengers for the seats -- of course, one was for me. Thank you Lord!

Helping out. Somebody texted me early this morning about a predicament he has with his family. He was already spilling the beans regarding the situation of his mother and father. I did not know what to do. I am not the counselor kind of gal and I do not know much of what its  like to be a crying shoulder. But I did try my best to comfort him through text. I never knew the impact of that text until the moment he said thank you to me and that my presence even just via text was already a relief. I am just glad I have helped someone out, if that was called helping.

Aside from the problem he shared, he also told me a secret about his personal life. And that would remain an overwhelming secret.

The blessing. No one could really tell when blessings could arrive. I just had mine this morning while riding on that Ceres bus again. I do not have to explicate the whole scenario and all. But I will never forget that kind-hearted friend and a brother in Christ who passed a blessing to me. May God bless him always and his family. 

Who Are You Mister?

His face still lingers in my membrane. His kind words were still fresh in my mind. His disposition could still be very recognizable in my whole system. Who could he be? And why did he know me?

Last night, I went home late (as usual) from the office where I finished editing a couple of articles. At the sight of the crowded bus, I quickly decided to stand as long as I can be home before my tummy growls in disgust. Little did I know that someone has already spotted me and was just waiting for the right timing to get my attention. As I was on the first two steps of the bus, struggling to get in, a husky male voice from the front seat called my name. It was unclear at first so I did not mind it. However, the constant call really made me move my head to the direction of the sound.

There, I saw him smiling at me, uttering my name for the last time. "Rolyn." I gave a half smile as a kind response to the stranger. He then asked me, "Mu.uli na ka? (Are you going home?)" I nodded. I was surprised to hear someone ask me that kind of question. The fact that I loaded the bus means that I am really on my way home. I tried to nuzzle in between two passengers and placed my paper bag on a compartment. But I noticed that he did not remove his attention from me. "Diri ka oh (You can take my seat)," he calmly said, giving another smile. My surprise and eagerness to know him hightened. I can't also ask him who he is in front of the crowd. I tried to recall anyone from the past and studied his features carefully. No match. He was a total stranger. I readily refused his offer and said that I would be okay if I will just stand. That was just the time that he turned away from me and settled on his seat.

I fortunately got a seat at the extension later that moment, thank God, but I still can't remove his image in my head. Of all the people that he could offer his seat with, why me? I was flattered with the thought.

I want to know him. I want to get his name. And I just hope fate would allow me to see him again (or he will see me and approach me). That would really be the time that I would ask him who he is. After an hour of travel, I had to unload the bus without even knowing where he's residing or from where he is. He's good-looking, with a clean posture and a cute smile. (Whoa! I said it.) That's why I am plainly interested with him. 

Whoever you are, thank you for the offer. But I just really wanted to know why you know my name. You might as well tell me yours. *echus*

My Sister's Keeper

A novel by Jodi Picoult, a movie directed by Nick Cassavetes. I just discovered this movie last night on HBO while correcting my classmates' papers. This has been introduced to me by my sisters saying that it was a very good movie and that I really have to watch it. I was not able to see the full length but the ending made me cry. Good thing everyone was asleep when I was crying so I really had a good time shedding those tears. I just wish I can have the book soon. Below, by the way, is the trailer to the movie. But I still think it is best to have a book before plunging into the film.

Random Thoughts Part 11

Music on. Articles forming an invisible thread and waiting to be edited. Air-conditioned room. Busy people. Living vessels of hurdy-gurdy like attitudes. This is where my life solely evolves apart from the strains of being an Education student. But with the daily boring flow of my entire college life, fate adds savor to it by bringing me the best serendipity.

Free smiley. The other night, the publication's meeting finished a little late and I have to rush out to catch the last bus home.  Fortunately, a good friend of mine, Lycel, and her boyfriend, offered me a free ride. I did not only get a free fare to the terminal but also had saved a couple of minutes intended to flag for a pedicab ride. 

We were just on time for the last bus to embark out of the terminal. Just on time, I was. I hope I gave them enough of the thank yous before finally loading the bus. Wearing a happy smile, I discovered I have to stand since the bus was already filled with passengers. Another serendipity was the discovery that a family friend I call my tito, who happens to be a pastor, recognized me standing. He gave a poke and an evening greeting while telling the conductor that he will answer my fare. Another chance to keep my money tucked in. Thank you so much Lord.

Relief. After I prayed to bless and help that teacher who humiliated me in front of her class without a fair ground yesterday, I have finally found relief. The comfort given by some my classmates who knew about what really happened added to the wellness of my soul. I am alright now; there is nothing beneficial in holding grudges against anyone anyway. I am freeing the hatred, the pain, and all. Thank you Lord for the help.

More. Our teacher in Ecology was disappointed with the odd performance of some of my classmates whom she assigned to report. Aside from the fact that they did not get her favor, they also gave her a substandard visual aid. Poor them. 

The reporting in History today was a total bore. The three reporters just read everything and did not even explain a thing. So is that what they mean by reporting? Oral reading? Oh my goodness. And to think the teacher gave them big grades, not even suitable to their performance. I am sorry but if I am the teacher, I will have helpful remarks for those three students. 

No class for Geometry. Yehey! Had an early lunch today and almost left nothing in my allowance because of an excessive lunch treat for myself.

P.S. Smile that the world may know how beautiful you are. 

Heave! I Need More Air

Dear Lord, 

Thank you so much for helping me stand her ridicules and sharp remarks. I wanted to breakdown but you strengthened me. I wanted to run out of the room but you made me believe that I can do it with YOUR help. 

P.S. That was the most painful, most heartbreaking words I got from a teacher ever since. EVER!

Sincerely yours, 

Me

I don't have to elaborate what she told me back there. Enough were her sharp words to make me conclude that she is not who she thinks she is. She might be a Doctor of Education and teaches Curriculum Assessment and Values but that does not excuse her from uttering filthy and dirty words in front of her class. She has been fond of humiliating students who give their reports and answers. I know she is aware of the Principles of Teaching but she is not applying it. What was the use of her title as a doctor? Was that for mere bragging and not really intended to help those who need her expertise? She is a hypocrite. Yes, I said it. She is a hypocrite, for heaven's sake, and no matter how her students try to prepare for a designated topic to be discussed in front, she will appreciate it all less.

I really wanted to cry but my friends stopped me. She is not worth a drop of my tears anyway. I do not hate her. I even pity her for her attitude. I think this is my time to pray for her. Whatever is bothering or triggering her to use such inhumane words in front of her class (and even to her colleagues), I just pray God will move her. I pray HE will touch her heart and make her realize that she is in the wrong track. She really needs a lot of realizing. She has to turn from her ways 360 degrees.

I still know there is some goodness left in her. God bless her.

I Have Valid Reasons

Something came up and I don't know what but it made me (and many of my classmates) decide to skip my Geometry class today. I have valid reasons though. Take note: VALID.

1. Lazy Bone -- It's not my fault to skip my Geometry class. It was because of the influence of Iyai and Israelli on me, persuading me not to attend. I also blame my lazy bones for not bringing me to the classroom. As what I have said, something just came up, making me decide to stay put and avoid that ugly Geometry class.

2. Boring Subject -- I want my brain to work but not this way. And in order for me not to complicate things, I would therefore say that the subject is indeed boring. Gone were those days when I made serious efforts of learning by myself. I was totally discouraged  by the manner of teaching. If I will force to contain myself in that dimlit room for a longer period of time, I might die of boredom.

3. Lousy Teacher -- Many students said she does not really know how to give an in-depth discussion. I know we are already college students but I think this teacher must also consider that she is teaching a subject that is despised by almost everyone and so she must make a way to alter that perception of ours. However, just like the rest of the Mathematics teachers that I have been into, she's lousy and lax. How, in the world, would a pea-brained creature like me, learn? Better be absent, right?

I know it was not the correct thing to do but sometimes, it's just quite inevitable that your lazy bones would be so strong in stopping you to go to your most hated subject. I just hope it won't happen again.

P.S.: This shocking work-out of the lazy bones did not only take effect on me but also to many of my classmates, too. How coincidental. 

Queues of What Ifs

What if life is perfect?

What if I am not as slow-poke as I am now? Maybe I might not experience running from the office to our Ecology classroom (which is just less than 35 meters apart) for my first subject in the morning. But come to think of it. Where's the fun in being so good a student? No tensions, no worries of coming in late. Sometimes, it's just good to be me.

What if all my crushes will also have a crush on me, too? Maybe that life would be so easy. I would like someone and I am already sure that he likes me too. Good thing that does not happen in the real world.  Sometimes, it's just fun to watch another girl approach my crush and he'd smile dearly at her. Then, my friends would tell me, "She's the girl." Sometimes, it's just fun to draw a sad smiley on my own face.

What if everyone likes me as me? Maybe that's good. I'll be a friend to everyone. But everyone has his/her own nemesis. There are just people you might somehow not know who are already backstabbing you with criticisms that does not even define the real you. And you will never impress everyone. Knowing someone insecure about you is also good 'cause it boosts your ego and encourages you to improve yourself. Sometimes, it's just fun to meet your mutual nemesis along the way. It makes you smile and make your day.

What if I am not thin? (Just averagely fit) Maybe I'd be jumping for joy. Who wouldn't be happy? That was my greatest wish since I could remember. But there are just advantages for being thin. One is that you can make alibis to refuse a good offer of your friend who was requesting you to be the representative of your college for the Miss Nutrition. *lol* Moreover, you are always suspected to be a little girl when in public utility vehicles and so they prioritize you. And in climbing a flight of stairs, it would be easier to lift your feet and your body. Sometimes, oftentimes even, I am thankful, though thin, that I am healthy and happy. 

Life is not perfect, and God knows why. I know why, too. HE is teaching us to be thankful and appreciative of the simple yet oftentimes unnoticed things in life.

We're Stronger Than You Think We Are

Yes. I repeat. We are stronger (and better) than you think we are. You might be fond of making critiques in our paper but try critiquing yourself and your responsibilities as individuals? Let me see if you have had any useful  accomplishments and contributions to the university yet. 

Who are you by the way? You are just students like us, but the big difference is that you are completely ignorant of what we are doing. You are completely without any know-how of what a real publication is. You are completely incapable of doing what we are doing, and though you will say that we are incompetent, try to look at yourselves. Now tell me, who's more incompetent?  

Making those silent "retributions" do not make us a little less of a publication. We are proud that we go out weekly. Can you do that? We interview the president and ask him confidential questions about issues in the university. This is for the sake of the students, for the sake of you. Now, can you do that?  

We have been into these criticisms for the nth time already but we did not quit. It is not in our motto. We fight! We write! You only do fighting, but you do not know how to write. I mean, look at your posts in your freakin' ugly group online. Are you even aware that you are posting grammatically incorrect statements? Please assess yourselves before making any move to destroy the institution whose only aim is to help the students and give voice to the voiceless. 

We admit we are not perfect, and we commit errors every time. But we learn. We are open-minded people. I think you must also do the same thing 'cause I think that is the one thing you haven't learned in your whole existence yet. 

Rock-a-bye Baby

It's all in the news -- from blogsites, to social networking sites, to the cellphones, and even up to the schools and universities. He is once again famous. He is once again the talk of the town. 

Because of him, I was forced to jump out of bed this morning. Because of him, everyone in my family did the same and uttered personal silent prayers of safety. Because of him, who came back a couple of minutes later, I had an ultimate "dizzy" experience. Though my phone was filled with texts and general messages about him, I took it for granted because I do not have any load to reply them all. 

On the later part of the afternoon, as our teacher was busy discussing a topic on Language Arts and I was about to fight my droopy eyes for the nth time, he came back, rocking us all like babies. Our teacher somehow reacted and almost lost balance. She then instructed to cover our heads with something hard. We were on the third floor that time and calmly went down the open court to join the rest of the pale-faced students who also had their share of the shock.

Introducing Mr. Earthquake. He is not new to our vocabularies, but a stranger to our town. Since my eighteen years of living like a child, it was my first time to experience three earthquakes for one day. What's more disturbing was the fact that it was not only felt by the Negrenses (people living in Negros Oriental) but also by other neighboring islands, with which has a stronger intensity than our place. It made me think how they're doing now. 

God knows that this is happening. And I know that this is just one of the signs of times. Jesus is coming back soon. But I pray, dear Heavenly Father that this will not happen again. Amen.

Trick Master

Okay, here are some tricks. Some might not be that tricky though.

 

Thank you so much. I was bored. :P

God's Timing is the Best Timing

 

God reserved a seat for me. I was hoping to grab a comfortable seat last Friday when I was on my way to the bus terminal. Since the day after that is the start of a rather fast weekend, many students and workers would flock the terminal to make sure they could go home right in time for dinner. As I slowly made my way to the bus bound for Bayawan, I saw how loaded the air conditioned vehicle was. My feet was still numbing because of an undersized pair of high-heeled shoes and forcing myself to stand together with a couple of passengers would just add the pain.

From a distance, I saw a parked and unlit bus also bound for Bayawan. I quickly boarded the vehicle and looked for a seat. At the far end, I saw one beside a girl from my town. It was the last available seat before all the rest could sit in the extension or stand. My appreciation for God's perfect timing was incessant. I gave a smile to myself and uttered a prayer of thanksgiving and safety. You are the best LORD!

God reserved a V-hire for me. It is the first day of another tedious week. Every Monday, all Education students are required to attend the flag ceremony fifteen minutes before 7 a.m. What a perfect timing indeed because there was brownout in our small town again and I failed to wake up early. I usually prefer a Ceres bus over local jeepneys during Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays because I would surely be late. This time however, there was still no bus passing by the area and as I glanced at my watch, it was already almost 6:15 a.m. and the school is an hour away from home. Oh holy munchies! Where is the Ceres bus when I need it the most?

Good thing a V-hire approached. It is faster than a Ceres bus but smaller and a little less comfortable. Thank God, though, since I was able to make it to attendance checking. I did not honestly make it to the flag ceremony but because of that considerate secretary of ours, I was present.

God made me see that book in our book shelf. Ever familiar of the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris? It is a good book, and I have one. My father told me not to read it until I can have my boyfriend but I told him it does not need one to know its contents. I am now enjoying it, but I cannot relate to several situations regarding break-ups and "feelings that did not die out." Still, I know through that book that I did the right thing for waiting. I know that my future boyfriend/husband would be blessed enough to have me. He will have all of my heart, and not only pieces of it. (gi luod lagi ko nako :P hahaha)

Tips to be Good Looking

 

Man has always been fond of making himself beautiful, even to the extent of spending too much of enough just to meet the standards of world beauty. But did you know that there is an alternative to making oneself good-looking without spending? Here are some helpful tips that might be useful. Read on.

1. For lovely eye.

Always look at the good side of other people. (Philippians 2:4)

2. For tender lips.

Speak only kind words towards others. (Colossians 4:6)

3. For a charming face.

Always smile with a happy heart. (Proverbs 15:13)

4. For graceful arms.

Reach out in compassion to those in need. (Romans 9:15)

5. For beautiful feet. 

Always walk with God. (Genesis 6:9)

Be a GO[O]D-LOOKING person all the time.

Denialism Daw

 

Bakit ba nakokornihan akong bumasa sa mga university diaries (UD) namin na puro about love pero ang dali namang makasulat ng mga love stories? Bakit parang yucky talaga tingnan ng mga magshotang sobra sa PDA? Bakit nagkaka teary eyes ako sa mga posts ng mga kaibigan ko about their happy love life? Bakit ang sarap tingnan ng mga old people na naka HHWW pa rin? Bakit ang sarap pakinggan pag nalaman ko na hindi lang pala ako ang single sa mundo? Bakeeeeeeet? 

Di naman ako insecure ah. Di talaga, as in! Gusto ko lang ng peace and quiet na life, yung tipong walang away, walang iyakan, walang selosan. Gusto ko world peace. Please! Maawa kayo, gusto ko rin naman ng happy ending pero di pa daw sabi ni tatay. Not now. Haaay! Kelan pa? Daysi otshow na po ako. But I know my parents know better than I do kaya sunod muna ako. In the process, I always pray for a matino na boypren later. The fact na matino boys are slowly going to extinction is bothering me. Baka di pa nga napanganak ang magiging hasban ko. 

Ano ba 'to? Nababato na ako sa mga acoustic love songs na 'to. Pero ang sarap kasi pakinggan. Ay ewan. Balik na ko sa pag-edit. Kakayanin ko ang pressure of editing love stories. Napansin ko lang, wala talagang coherence whatsoever ang second paragraph ko. And the whole thing. Ah basta. ;)

BTW, this is the edited version of the UD I edited earlier. Maganda naman pagkagawa ng author.

Lucky yet Insecure

By: Kinomoto Sakura 

“Don’t let doubts lose the magic of love because it’s not every day that you meet the people who have the magic to let you fall in love.” ─ Alvinn Bonn

It’s been almost four months since I and my boyfriend met. I can say that I  really am one heck of a lucky girl to have him. Who wouldn’t want a charming, kind, and patient gentleman?

But sometimes, I have doubts whether or not our relationship will last due to his position as a CTU Officer of the Criminology department. There’s always a possibility that a lot of women will swoop or idolize him. I am always jealous and I admit that I’m afraid to lose him.

Since I don’t have the confidence to tell him directly about what I feel, I often make gestures that I don’t want him to mingle with any woman; and he immediately knows what I mean with my unusual actions. But I realized that I have no rights whatsoever to tell him that because I am just his girlfriend. 

Despite the fact that I am already mad at him, he’ll softly say, “Don’t worry babe. You’re my only girl. No one can replace you in my heart.”

I couldn’t help but be scared of thinking that maybe one day, another woman would capture his heart.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t trust him, though. I am just afraid that there might come a time that I will lose the one I cherish the most. However, some of his friends assured me that I am lucky to have him because he is such a nice man.  “He truly loves you. We can’t say anything bad to him,” they would say.

I honestly feel insecure when some girls come close to him even just to ask him something. There were even times that I get so pissed off because of my unwanted jealousy. But what can I do? I just love him so much. What he does to suffice me to hold my hand and hug me tight while saying, “I love you so much babe. Just trust me... ” and then, in a moment, my silliness would fade away.

I always think that I don’t deserve to have him. He’s so kind and honest to me and yet I let my insecurities and jealousy envelope me. But as long as he is there for me and will always be willing to love me until the end, I will do my very best to give my full trust to him. I will continue to love him as much as he loves me.

I just hope that we will last long no matter what happens, that we can conquer all the trials in our relationship together, and  that I can trust him fully enough. I still hope that once I offer him the trust he longed to have, he’s still there to love me.

 I admit that the message is indeed really true that you should not let your doubts blind you with the truth because it’s only once in a lifetime that you will meet the perfect one. Each person has their different ways to make you fall in love but not all can truly capture your heart.

I’ve written this university diary because I know that through this, I have confessed these sentiments to my boyfriend. I just hope and wish that he understands me every time I get mad at him sometimes. If he truly loves me, he can understand my sentiments.

Kinomoto Sakura is a second year BS Mass Communication student who loves to write during her free time.

Rocking the Rack, Fighting the Fear

This is not my first time to talk to people one on one; and this is not my first time to interview. In fact, I have been used to approaching people and asking them about a certain campus issue or we call it "ambush interview" in the pub.  

But there was something wrong with me when I learned that I was one of the Panel of Interviewers for this year's hiring of newbies. We usually hire media men and professors to conduct the interview but this time around, due to the lack of financial support from the administration, we have to do it on our own.  So the agreement was that the adviser, editor-in-chief, and associate editor will do the interrogation. 

I know I have the confidence and the ability to communicate in English but to realize that I was not able to prepare myself for the series  of questions that I will be asking later on kept on tormenting me until the moment I asked about Kenneth's (he is our editor-in-chief) queue of questions. He did not mention me the details of his questions but he told me the style he's planning to follow. "Just make sure it's long." I had my brain working after that. I have to be authoritative and firm in whatever I will say later on, avoiding, as much as possible, the occurrence of fillers on the process, and, as what he has said, I have to make it long. It's funny to note that after the interview later that afternoon, I realized I gave the longest series of questions, making one interview last up to almost 30 minutes. Is that what you call "unprepared"?

At the arrival of the interviewees and seeing their enigmatic glances and half smiles made me sweat with steam. What the heck is happening with my senses? It seemed like I am the one to be interviewed, and not the one to interview. I readily gave myself an invisible encouragement because I really think I needed that and no one in the office seemed to notice my anxiety. 

I figured out the right questions just moments before the first interviewee approached my table and sat. He was filled with confidence and I can read it in his eyes. I have to act more confident than him so as not to make him feel comfortable. I want him to feel the pressure. I want to mutually tell him that I really know how to conduct an interview.

I was at least successful on that part, though I was not able to totally curtail the manner of placing fillers in between some of my statements. The mention of non-words was almost unnoticeable, I could say, and I am happy I am quite improving on that part. 

There was a total of nine interviewees that passed my table. I had my top three best speakers and the top three "waley" applicants. They do not even seem to qualify for college, I must say. 

At exactly 5:30, the interview was done. Nada! After I almost lost all my saliva in asking similar questions to various personalities, I have finally thanked God that it was all over.