I Ain't Ready Yet...

...to say "I love you"
...to be a good partner
...to be someone worth loving for.


Now, I have to let you go
Now, I have to free myself from this mirth
Now, I have to use my head instead of my heart
Now, starting now.
That is how I say goodbye.


I have plans for my life
Unfortunately, you're not part of it.
I want to be happy
But sad to say, it's not you.
I want to be married someday
Yet that man of my dreams isn't you.
 That is how I lie.


For 36 months, I waited.
Dreamed of things that wasn't supposed to be 
Went to cloud 9 just to see your smile
Created fantasies exclusively for me and you 
Stayed awake 'til midnight for your stoic replies
Wallowed in ceaseless insanity.
That was me.


Poor me.
My wells of emotions just dried up.
I had enough of the expectations and all.
I had fair shares of failure and heart aches.
No more.
No more breakdowns, no more heart rush, no more obsession, no more of your candid image.
This is me.


Poor you.
You have plans and I can sense it.
I pretended to care but actually,
I don't.
What more can I do?
I have made up my mind. No "us"!
In the first place, there is no "us".
Fate has to disapprove.
Goodbye.


I ain't ready yet...
...to say "I love you"
...to be a good partner
...to be someone worth loving for...
and I ain't gonna be. :'(