It was Wednesday, February 10 when I made my last post. Today is already March 1, a good 19 days later. The internet connection in the office miraculously came back, giving me the chance to blog once again. Thank you to the ones responsible :)
Between the digits mentioned above, many things happened. However, I have to exclude the prestige of the Valentine's Day since it was a stressful one with all of my notebooks and photocopies laid in front of my face. I have to study well that day so that I can have a good score in our exam the next day which seemed to be a final examination already because of its length.
No matter how uninteresting my past days were, three dates still refresh my young yet rotting memory. February 20, February 21 and February 27-- three dates that, if given an off-road definition would mean "I love you", which marked the innocence of my youth.
A farewell and a resentment. After our LTS adviser gave us the news that February 20 will be our last visit to Balugo Elementary School, I was both ecstatic and downhearted. Ecstatic because I will no more spend money in providing snacks for my student. I won't anymore cram every Saturday realizing that I am already an hour late for the morning formation. I won't be anymore inhaling the presence of my sole student who seldom talks and smiles. Downhearted because I am going to deeply miss the whole grumbling thing and the whole angle of discomfort. I am going to miss the giggles with my co-eds when we were already late, the thrill of riding in an old-painted green easyride with a senile driver on the steering wheel, the wide grin from my student upon realizing that I have finally arrived and the quaint feeling of satisfaction after eating five nuggets, a banana cue, a two-peso Nagaraya and a one-peso roasted peanuts.
I hope Jessaly won't forget her Ate Jen who almost yelled at her one time after keeping all the words inside her mouth even if she was already taught the same lesson over and over again. I hope she won't hate me for almost walking out after staying silent and numb even if she was simply asked to close her eyes over and over again.
I will miss everything about Balugo Elementary School and every memory created in that place. Promise! Cross my heart!
That was my farewell. Never did I realize that after a couple of hours later, I will be brought back to the dark ugly past that made me have goose feathers once again, an almost forgotten past that disturbed the wits out of me two years ago. Never did I realize that I will be ostentatiously saying hello to an old "friend". Never did I realize that I still remembered the face that almost fooled me.
There were only two persons who knew the story. The younger of the two cannot absorb the enigma of such scenario so I considered the other one my best refuge. I cannot narrate the whole event. However, a background of the whole resentment might help.
Two days before that important day, I wished he won't come but I was such a fool to practice the appropriate words and gestures if we would somehow meet. My February 20 began to fill itself with uncertainties. No matter how I avoid being seen, there was really an incident that made our fates coincide. I was thrilled, honestly, as well as cold. It wasn't as dramatic as I thought but I told myself it was enough. An eyebrow-raising text message that came from him after that short acquaintance made me feel regret the whole freaking event. I just hate the scene, his simple smile and most of all, my ugly presence.
Black Valentine's.. Anyone?. It's already Sunday morning and I have to prepare my heart and mind for the worship service. Hours later, I am once again filled with the Holy Food from the Holy Word. Now, I have to prepare for the Post-Valentine celebration. Le Tundra was the signature spot and the theme color was black and red which led to the dominance of black that night.
Aside from the fact that we started very late already, as late as 11:00 in the evening, there were also heart mismatches which brought us to a moment of humor and surprise. Those and more made us learn our lessons. Valentine's Day isn't always about "kilig" but also about how we treasure our friends' love for us and their extraordinary concern for us. That gathering was for the loveless and inspired alike. It ended the next day, making me exhausted yet satisfied.
Matt Evans and the P.E. fun day. One week later, I was already standing inside the premises of Main Campus 2 together with our fellow Norsunians who came there for the sake of their P.E. grades and attendance. Although the field was superbly hot and the P.E. instructors unreasonably tyrant, most of the students enjoyed the games and the cheap prices.
The boredom that engulfed me on the whole duration went out when I was able to grasp two seconds of Matt Evans' presence and charming smile.
Due to the excitement and euphoria that did not leave me until today, I think I have to share it. My friend and I was walking back to our canopy after running away because of the flying ice waters. We were bombed by crazy trashes and we had no choice but run away from the whistling grenades that spoiled our lunch preparation. I was about to cross when I spotted Matt. He was looking on the opposite side and I pretended not to see him. We almost bumped, indeed. He looked at me dramatically and said "uie". Three letters that made me respond the same thing. I did not say more. He was slowly walking away but never removed the smile from his face. After realizing that that incident happened, I felt like I was in cloud 9. It was followed by yet another one three hours later.
As I was traveling home, I did not resist to tell it to two of my friends and the atmosphere of the bus was filled with giggles and laughs as we began telling related stories after that.
Life isn't that bad after all, I realized. As long as God is there, no one shall ruin the choreography of His wonderful plan for each of our lives. God Bless :)
Epilogue - Rest in peace. Born: December 10, 2010 Laid to rest: March 28, 2017
9 hours ago